Lowkey feel like I'm dying but that's okay
I have a condition called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or chronic fatigue syndrome.
I was first diagnosed in 2021, but first experienced symptoms in 2018 after catching mono. Most people with ME/CFS started having symptoms after a traumatic event to the body, such as excessive stress or a virus.
For me, ME/CFS means that even though I've been at home all day and barely left my bed, I still feel tired because I left the house yesterday to attend my one class a week (over 24h ago now). This is called PME or post exertional malaise.
Even though I took a nap and have slept for over 17 hours my brain is still functioning like its tired. My whole body feels stiff and I cannot think with 100% of my brain power
Its super frustrating because I have to plan my life around how tired an activity will make me, and some days I don't have the energy to do things I enjoy, things like playing video games are hard to do because they take up too much brain power and exhaust me quicker. On a good day I can maybe play 2 hours of Valorant or 3-4 hours of something slower like Stardew Valley
A lot of people, even in my personal life, assume that I spend my days gaming or drawing and just messing around, which on a good day I can, but those good days are maybe once every two weeks even if that. My days are mostly spent sleeping or resting, and the time I am awake I am doing chores or attending doctors appointments.
But within my days, I find great joy and purpose in things like making this website and blog. I don't have many people to talk to but the act of getting a piece of myself out into the internet brings me great joy.
I wanted to bring awareness to ME/CFS because its frequently mis-characterized as just being tired, and its so much more than that. I am lucky enough that I have a moderate case and do not have severe ME, but I still want the world to know that people like us exist and what we struggle with.
If you want to read more about ME/CFS I highly recommend This SubReddit and Solve CFS these are excellent community run resources that I personally follow.
Stay Sleepy My friends,
Spencer